UNSURE

If we could see ourselves through the eyes of those that love us the most, will our anxieties, insecurities, fears disappear? But how would we identify those that that love us the most, those people we are trying to impress when everyone nowadays seems to be screaming 'TRUST NO ONE'.

NO LOVE LOST PART 1

All the stuff I have been doing was just stuff to fit in , trying to get back the wasted years. I was all boxed up hiding my true self, but when I realised that I have one life to live , when I realised that no one else was going to write my story except me, that no one was going to make the amazing memories but me I decided to break free . You can say I have been trying to find myself that I've been trying to figure out my purpose and what life is all about. I mean  most of the stuff I know I wasn't taught I had to figure out I've usually been head strong  but sometimes I'm an emotional wreck and i tried to back off. You need to understand I've done a lot of stuff, been  involved in awkward situations but I'm happy to say I've come out better and I don't regret the lessons I've learnt. Me seeing that other people can do it and to also see that they have pulled through their difficult situations has given me inspiration to try and do it on my own. 

                                      My  aim is to inspire others while making my own path 

Tatts on wrists

Am i wrong for loving these?

KId Cudi new tatts!! I sooo LOve them 

Lost

February is Black History Month and this is the time when we get to celebrate the things our ancestors did for us to have a better future (although I think that we should be doing this every time ) for example Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat or even Martin Luther King Jr and his famous  ' I have a Dream Speech'.  However i see people on Twitter saying that this has been the worst history black month due to the 'suicide' of the 'KING' Don Conerlious and also the death of  'THE VOICE'  Whitney Houston.

Although we have lost two of the most influential people in the entertainment industry, i believe that there is a lesson to it; That we must love people whilst they are still alive. Also, I believe that we must be able to give someone a shoulder to lean on, make them believe that they have someone they can talk to as you might save a life, reduce alienation and possibly prevent suicide. I think that most people might commit suicide because they do not have anyone to talk to because they feel like they are abandoned but i feel that if people just let their loved ones know that they are not alone then this might help them get out of the dark place they might be in. 

One of the biggest battles that Whitney Houston had was a drug addiction. Lets not try and deny that she did not do them because she did, and the thing that really hurts and  shocks me is when people shun you out to not talk about when we need to address such as drug problems . If people are not made aware of the problems in our society how then do we fight them?

R.I.P Whitney Houston and Mr Don Cornelious 

Does it matter?

Have you ever had a time when all you want do is just close your eyes and reminisce, or just stare at the ceiling and think about stuff, might be good or bad. I just did that and I began wondering what if my life was different, what if I had chose  in a different way? Would I have hurt less? Would I be happier?

Looking back, I feel like I have done a lot but I wonder if all of it is enough! Sometimes I wish I had a second chance to correct somethings but then my ID is like those r the things that made me who i am !
Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for the place/position I'm at now but I do not want to be forgotten that's why I wonder if its enough, if its ever enough and if it matters!

I guess I miss it all! I miss everything and I miss you the most
Te Amo

Charli Baltimore

Her new album #TRUELIES  coming out on 4.24.12

Am i excited? yes very much! i been waiting for her to dish out new stuff and she werkin!!

this her new single

#teamcharli #charlisangels

Charli Baltimore - Motherfuckers Don't Want It (feat. Tony Dutch, Ace Sp...

HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I love her!!

shes so #underrated

Female collabs

This has got to be one of the dopest Female collabs ever!!!

Nothing can top this ever! 

 A Platinum record don't mean you hot chile..
(truth)

HAHAHA love that line! :)

Hath Not a Jew

Shylock:
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands,
organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter
and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the
rest, we will resemble you in that.
The Merchant Of Venice Act 3, scene 1, 58–68

I love this speech!!! it says a lot

Why are here so many black males on death row|?

So I'm writing an essay for college entitiled "Why there Are More Black Males on Death Row as compared to White Males" and it's just left me feeling upset. It's sad that most of these man (black) are being arrested for trying to protect their families, systematic racism, or because cases were not investigated properly. For example in the Cory Maye case http://reason.com/archives/2006/10/01/the-case-of-cory-maye/singlepage


It's a really defying case but I believe its deeper than just murder. I believe that this has to also to do with race. It's disappointing when you the people that are supposed to protect us are the ones that hurt us. I am not saying that its right to kill a person but, the way they handled the case (among other cases), how they did not bring Jamie Smith upfront as a witness, how they beat Maye up and how they fired a state attorney that represented Maye is wrong. Although Maye has since been removed from death row, It's quite daunting to think that there may be others that are on death rows whose cases have not been overlooked, others in the system who have been wrongly convicted because of what he race he is.  Hopefully we will find a way to fight this.

i love this woman !!!! Everything she did was just flawless

So yess I am #TeamAaliyah  :D

Goodbye my Babies

It's a bit eerie how my last post 'In Loving Memory' was 15 days before my father died. I guess it's just something I never saw coming and well even if I did, I don't think I was ever going be ready for it both physically and mentally for it. I still remember everything that happened the day before, how I smiled a lot, the rush of adrenaline I felt at times, the last words he said to me when I saw him and they way I looked at him whilst he was reading the paper, how he scolded me for trying to kill a spider. I even remember the last meal he had.

 The morning it happened, I had a dream of my mother, sister, my father, and I ... how we were all laughing and happy because we had a new addition to the family. When I woke up I thought to myself  a new baby being born could mean a person dying and then..... I found out. I remember jumping out of bed to go see if it was really true. I was denial because he looked so beautiful and peaceful, I thought he was sleeping. My escape from the world is either writing or music, but when I tried either, it didn't work. I remember how I tried writing after but I felt so empty, even when I was told to write a speech - a farewell letter to him,  that I was meant to say on the day of his funeral, I just couldn't do it. I remember how I wanted to say everything important but I figured I would need to write a whole book. Some of the things I wanted to say, only you would understand and it seemed pointless to include in the letter, but also seemed important to include. The day he died tears did not come to my eyes maybe because of the shock because it never hit me the first day , but when I saw his coffin and everything I just broke down and I guess that's when it hit me that you were truly gone.

Sometimes I feel like I| was too hard on him and I wonder if he was ever proud of me , I'd like to think that I made him proud nonetheless. I feel like I owe it to him. I never thought I would get out of this dark time but I guess God has his ways.

Goodbye my babies where his last words he said to me and my sis

R.I.P dear dad and your 'babies' love you !!!

in loving memory

I know there is quite a variety of music that is out there,  but I mainly listen to these three and it has made me think about their futures and what could have been. 

Tupac Shakur, Aaliyah Haughton , Christopher Wallace. To some people, they are just artists who served their time in the business and to the latter an unfortunate victim of gang violence, a teenager who lost his life because of the mindless behaviour of some people. I was deeply touched by the deaths of these people even though i knew none of them! One might ask WHY? They are just ordinary people whose time was up, But to me, they could have done or been something greater than what they were at the time of their passing!

Who knows Aaliyah could have been a wonderful mother or could have been one of the most amazing actresses in this time! Tupac Shakur's music could have gone to teach people or educate people about equality i.e racism although some might argue by saying that he hated white people but i believe that in the 90s the issue of racism was still at its highest but he was a voice that most people didn't have and at that time , through his music (lyrics) it seemed like all our problems were being addressed and it was getting the much attention needed . Christopher Wallace could have influenced many artists of today and maybe the rap/ hip-hop industry could have taken a whole different direction and also not forgetting the pain the families went or are still going through as they think about what they could have said or could have done.

 All these thoughts  of what could have been come to mind but then again its all God's planning maybe my predictions and hopes could have turned out worse maybe these artists could have been less appreciated or maybe have taken totally different directions that are totally worse  but why stick with the negatives?  They could have done something totally amazing which might have changed a few bits of someones world, because i know they certainly changed mine with their music and letting me know that anything can happen, might as well enjoy life while it lasts. 

So, here's to the Teacher (Tupac) , Amazing father (Biggie smalls) , Blossoming entertainer (Aaliyah).

Language Of Various Emotions

Its like the first raindrop after a drought, It brings you hope after a long time of waiting, its like the first word uttered by a baby, the first step they take, it's unexpected but you know that there is more to come. its such a beautiful thing to feel, to see, to hear. 

They say too much of everything is a disaster/hurts , YES it might hurt but from hurt comes understanding and from understanding comes peace and the next cycle begins. You could never get rid of it because its just going to keep coming again and you are going to find it an unexpected places... it might capture your heart the very first time, take your breath away, leave you confused, make you lose your words.... its a beautiful feeling to have ...you could never get rid of it because it just gonna keep coming back keep fighting trying to find its way in... you cud never run away from it you cud never hide from it.... IT is LOVE